extended weekend
i am totally enjoying my day-off... had a nice sleep-in, made some coffee, had some breakfast, started the laundry, and then headed out to do some errands... i dropped some things off at the goodwill, then ran to rugged warehouse to look at their sneakers (didn't find anything), and then ran to ross to see what kind of bargains i could find... since there's a slight possibility that i'll have to go to this black-tie event in may, i looked thru their dresses and tried a few on... the gods must be with me today because i not only found one but it's red, a size 8 (what?!?!), AND marked down to $13.99... i will post a pic when i'm looking more presentable (total baseball hat day)... i also hit the grocery store and have dinner in the fridge as i type: chicken breasts marinating in soy sauce, olive oil, fresh lime juice, fresh ginger, and scallions... i will also be hitting the 5:30 spin class so this day won't be a total wash... :o)
my weekend was good and the visit w/my dad wasn't as bad as i thought... he looked a lot better than i was expecting though i think the time has come where he no longer recognizes me... we did some exercises, helped him eat lunch both days, as well as pushed him around the hallways... my sister and i had a long discussion about his final plans - so much to think about and decide, it's scary... my father was not a saver so what we have to work with, is not much - sorry to bring up such a morbid subject but has anyone dealt with cremation? even though he expressed to my sister before he got sick that he wanted to be buried in a VA cemetary - we think between funeral costs and overall logistics, it would be hard on everyone... i'm going to talk to a close friend who's been thru the process but wanted to throw that question out there (feel free to email me)...
anyway, i'm going to look thru my fitness magazine and enjoy the rest of my day... :o)
happy president's day...
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Hey Jodi,
Long time, eh? Do you even remember me? :0)
Anyway, my heart breaks for you that you and your sister are the ones making those plans for your Dad. It's not a pleasant thing to be a part of. Mostly my Dad asked that he be cremeated, and we went through a funeral home in our hometown, they made all the arrangements for us. We had a small service and he's on my Mom's mantle, which is absolutely creepy and unsettling for me. But...what can I say? She's the widow afterall. Anyway, I think if you can agree on things now and put a plan in place, you'll be so glad you did when his time comes.
Geez, that's a tough subject for me to talk about. :0(
~Les
my dad was cremated but i was 19 when he passed and all i remember is wandering around looking at coffins while my mom made the choices. it's not easy. :(
Hi Jodi,
I'm so sorry about your dad!
My mother and my neighbors mom dies within months of each other and buried at the Military cemetary.
My neighbors mom was cremated and inturned in a "wall" that circles the graves. She was cremated in Arizonia and my neighbor picked up her remains and took them to the cemetary. They had a little "service at the site and my neighbor was able to place the little box in the "cibbie" and then it was sealed.
My mother was buried in the same grave site as my sister. My dad is going there too, but the cemetary say's he will have to be cremated in order to fit.
My husbands grandmother just passed away 2 weeks ago. The mortuary picked her up from the hospital and we met with the, to fill out forms for her to be cremated and put in a "special" box to be carried on a plane as my MIL will be taking her back to Pennsylvania (sp?) to be buried.
Hope this helps. I think it's very good that you and your sister are talking about it now.
Some ways we cut the costs for my mom
Flowers from Vons (grocery store) they made very nice arraingments that were alot less than the funeral home.
Service at church-no cost
We did not rent any cars from them and bought our own guest books
Oh, the military cemetary only has certain days that they have burials
we had to plan around them
Ouch ... that can be tough! To be blunt - financially cremation is much more doable. Everyone in my family is cremated or donated to science ... yes we are not the norm. We do not even do funerals ... more of memorials. Talk to your local funeral home ... they should be able to break it down for you ... whether it is a pine box or a shroud ... how to intern him in a VA cemetary, etc. My gram died completely unexpectedly over the holidays and it caught us all off guard. It may sound cliche' but try to find small good things in your visits with him ... I cared for my gramp as he died and it was the little things that helped down the road.
Ooh, what fitness magazine do you read?
Glad the visit with your dad went well, and glad you enjoyed your day off! Nothing like an extra day off....reminds me, I need to schedule one of those!
Hi Jodi. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation with your dad right now. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you, but please don't ever feel bad about coming here to express your feelings. You are amazing and I know there are a ton of people on the Internets supporting you. :)
P.S. The dress sounds hot! I can't wait to see it!
Hey Jodi...
I am glad your visit with your dad went better than you expected. My heart does go out to you and the decisions you are having to make.
When my mom passed away, she was cremated. You said your dad is a veteran and wanted to be buried in the VA cemetary. Do you know if some, if not all, of the funeral costs and what not can be covered under veteran's benefits? When my mom passed away, we found out that because my dad is a veteran, she was able to be inturned or buried and it was free of charge. She is placed in the wall...and when my dad passes away, he will be placed there with her. She would have been so happy because she always said she thought my dad should have been buried there, but didn't think it was an option.
I don't know if VA benefits vary from state to state, but we were pleasantly surprised to find what was eligible for my mom as the spouse of a veteran.
Hugs to you...and one more hug for good measure,
So sorry to hear about you dad. It sure is difficult dealing with an ailing parent, hope you don't find it all too stressful. All the best.
The dress sounds perfect, can't wait to see a picture. Glad to see you made the most out of your long weekend.
((Take care))
sorry to hear about your dad :(
I love it when I find a dress that looks good and it's cheap. That can just make my whole day!
Unfortunately, I do have some experience with cremations. Let me know if you have questions.
The only thing that I have found is a bit tricky - is having a chance for those that want to say goodbye to "his face".
when my MIL passed - he was cremated BEFORE the service - so my kids never got to "see him". It might be that (with your dad) it might just be immediately family - and you might be lucky enough to be there for his final hours - so you would all get to say goodbye.
I also might just have this feeling because it bothered my kids - perhaps it wouldn't bother adults as much.
I meant FIL.
This may be of interest to readers of this blog since it goes in to detail each week on how to use cutting-edge nutrition, exercise, and healthy lifestyle techniques to lose weight and live a healthier life. It's free so I figured I would share it... you can sign up for the Trim, Tone & Tighten Thursdays newsletter at www.stephencabral.com
When my dad passed we had him cremated & held a memorial service. To be honest, we didn't really bother worrying about what other people would think or want. We chose to spread his ashes in one of his favorite vacation spots and I have never thought those decisions were bad ones.
Jodi, sorry to hear about your father but I'm glad you have your sister and that you aren't alone.
Thinking of you.
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, Jodi. Maybe that's contributing to your blah-ness. Try to make time for yourself and hang in there!