weigh-in

christ, i can't seem to win lately - i was all high & mighty last week about getting back on plan and counting points, and what happens... i gained .2 pounds this week (i know it's minor but it's still a gain!)... i was doing really well up until saturday and then i bought chips & onion dip for when eric came over... and then because my mom gave me freshly-picked strawberries, i just HAD to make shortcake (because i've had it EVERY strawberry season since i was a kid)... i went to spin class on saturday but then i lost the momentum somewhere - i stopped counting, etc....

it's not THAT hard - i know HOW to do this... i've obviously been successful, or i wouldn't be where i am today, but why does it get harder? it's not like i have a husband, or kids, or work odd hours working against me - i belong to the gym at work and go there 5x week... so why the gain? so why is it bothering me now when a month ago, i could care less? i'm not really expecting answers, i'm just thinking/venting outloud... i've been in a crappy mood for several days and i just can't shake it - i'm tired, i hate my job again, i need a vacation, and i feel like my life is just at a standstill... i know i can work on this stuff but it's like "where do i start first?"... and i'm just tired of thinking in general - my brain needs a time-out...

ugh, i hate feeling like this and i hate complaining, but that's life... sometimes it just sucks for no reason and you just have to deal with it, regardless if you can change anything... ever have one of those days/weeks/months?

happy hump day...

weigh-in

this blog has become less and less about weightloss these days (esp. since i keep gaining/losing the same 2 pounds!) - not sure how many of you have noticed or even care and will continue to read regardless of what i talk about... i apologize for all the work, work, work stuff but sometimes - life just gets in the way and though i know i shouldn't apologize (since it IS my blog), i sometimes feel like i've let things slip... i've gone from posting everyday to a few times a week, and who can remember the last time i talked about a health-related article, new food product, or exercise... i know that i'll never be a roni (where does she find the energy with a job, a kid, a hubby, and multiple sites) so who am kidding... doing this stuff is a priority for her, more like a responsibility - i'm not just feeling like it's my priority anymore... does that make sense?

BUT on the flipside - i know that i'm not the same person as i was 3 years ago... my outlook has changed, my thinking has changed, my eating and exercise has changed - so i guess it's just natural that the blog changes too... it's been obvious that getting to my goal weight hasn't been life or death situation so that says to me, i have gone down a different path... i no longer beat myself-up and curse because the scale says i gained 2 pounds, i no longer feel guilty if i don't exercise, and if i want a margarita on the weekend - i'm gonna have it... i've learned to listen to my body and considering my schedule has been f*cked-up for the last two months - i'm pretty thrilled that i haven't gained 10 pounds... my body is happy where it is right now and i'm happy too... :o)

we have all started this journey and had a goal in mind - how we got there didn't matter because it was the online support that kept us going... though i don't comment as much as i used too - i still read what's going on out there because it's just a part of who i am... i know that when i'm not feeling strong - there will always be a post, somewhere, that will motivate me again... there will always be someone venting about the same thing, which is always nice, and there's always that one person that says something funny and my worries are forgotten... :o)

so my point is - you guys are great and i just wanted to say thank-you... i'm not going anywhere but i just felt the need to put it out there... i don't know where this new path is going exactly but i'll figure it out soon and share as i go along - cus that's what we do... :o)

happy hump day...