to all my blogger friends

can she do it?

well, today is finally here - i'm home alone with deck and so far, so good... i was a mess last night though and cried for a good 15-minutes - the thought of being here alone, after eric has been here for over a month, terrifies me... it's not that i don't think i can handle it - i'm just worried about the times that he cries and doesn't stop, or when i need to pump and he's crying, or when i'm exhausted and can't rest because he's still awake, or a million other things... eric has been such a HUGE help and i am SO thankful that he was able to take-off this long, but all good things must come to an end... as of right now - he'll be home in about 5 hours... :)

update on deck's weight: we went back last thursday for his 1-month check-up and although he's gaining at a normal weight, he lost an ounce since the previous tuesday... so the doctor suggested beefing up the formula again to 2-ounces every other feeding and to continue to pump for 10-minutes... i was a bit upset and still am, but am trying to stay positive and know this is what has to be done in order for him to keep gaining and get stronger... eric has been very concerned about my productive and found this herb called fenugreek that's supposed to help women increase their milk supply (it doesn't work for everyone though)... i've only taken a few capsules so we'll see if it works or not - worth a shot i suppose... :)

our weekend was good - my mom came over on saturday and we went to a church holiday craft thing and then ran to michaels so i could pick-up a few things... saturday night, some good friends of mine stopped by to finally meet deck and then we had quiche for dinner...

yesterday was our 1-year anniversary, hard to believe i know... my how time flies! i can't believe that it's only been a year, but then again - we've had an incredibly busy year between the baby, the house renovations, and going to france for our honeymoon... we had talked about maybe getting my mom to watch deck so we could go see a movie or have dinner, but we ended up staying home, watching football, and just enjoying the day together... it's not like we can't celebrate it another day, right? ;)

well, it's almost time to feed again and then i'd like to take him for a walk since it's pretty nice out... the only other thing i want to accomplish today is put up a small christmas tree in the nursery - we got out the decorations yesterday and now the garage is full of big, blue bins (8 to be exact)... not sure when or if we'll get a tree - i'd really like too, but am not sure where we would put it since the LR has been rearranged and all the walls have furniture... quite the challenge! :)

happy monday...


today marks deckard's 1-month birthday - still hard to believe that he's only been here that long... my days and nights blur together most of the time and i have no concept of what day it is, but i do know that the last 30 days or so have been the most trying, exhausting, emotional, wonderful, and utterly amazing time of my life... since things have been so busy, i'm not sure if i've actually had time to REALLY process becoming a mother... i mean i KNOW this is my role in life now and it's something i've dreamed about since i can remember, but i'm not sure that it's fully sunk-in... seems silly, but it's true... perhaps when eric goes back to work next week and i'm home alone, with deck, i'll really understand what all this means and where my life is going... i'll write about my thoughts on the first month very soon... :)

since we didn't have a doctor's appt. or anywhere to go today, we were able to go back to sleep after his 7:00 feeding which was nice... i made oatmeal for breakfast and then did the usual feed/tv thing for a while, then did some laundry, and then decided to go for a walk around a nature center/garden not far from the house... we were blessed with gorgeous weather again so i wanted deck and i to take advantage of it and spent about an hour walking around and taking photos...

gotta run, baby's crying... happy hump day! :)

2-days in a row

we had more good news today... deck gained 10 oz. since last friday and is now above 8 lb. which is above and beyond what he should've gained, according to the doctor... nice job, baby boy! he's now just a few oz. short of where he should be on the weight scale and she is very confident that he'll keep moving in the right direction... she still wants me to pump for 10-minutes after each feeding and we're to cut back on the formula, unless he needs it (i.e. doesn't nurse well or the pacifier doesn't soothe him)... this news really makes me feel better and yes, i know we still have a long way to go but at least he's over the hump and making progress... thanks for all the words of encouragement... :)

the weather has been pretty rainy and cold today, so after we got back from the doctor - i rested for about an hour (don't think i ever fell asleep) and then we caught-up on some shows we had on the DVR... we are fans of boardwalk empire and hoarders, and now walking dead which is on AMC - great show, if you're into zombies... ;)

my thrift store shopping trip yesterday resulted in a few things, though trying on pants was rather discouraging... since i refused to try on size 18s, i somehow managed to find 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of pants (16s) as well as some shirts and a few sleepers for deck... i also found a harley-davidson tshirt but it's way too big right now and will be perfect for next summer (hopefully)... :)

well, i guess i need to start thinking about dinner and getting deck awake for his next feeding... it's pitch black outside and feels much later than 6:20 - certainly not liking this daylight savings time...

happy tuesday...

breathing a sigh of relief

FINALLY some good news! The owner of the daycare called me this morning and apologized for the phone problems that she was having last week... I had tried calling her for about 2 days and couldn't get thru... On Friday , I told Eric that we should just walk there and see if we can talk to her in person (it's literally 4 blocks away)... Unfortunately, we weren't able to talk to her, but met with the other woman that works there and passed along my contact info... I was so worried, but am glad things worked out because it's a great location and I think Deck will be well taken care of... :)

On the agenda for today (besides taking a shower!), is to head to the big thrift store and find some jeans/pants to tie me over until I lose more weight... My 12s are way too small and so are some of my 14s - no worries though, I will not be that size forever... I can't wait to hop on the treadmill everyday... Anyone know how soon I can start doing WW?

Time to feed Deck, hope you have a great Monday... :)

back to the drawing board

friday was not a good day - we went back to the doctor for a weight check and deck had lost 2 ounces since tuesday... i literally cried in the room after the nurse weighed him and felt like a complete failure... and to make matters worse, he hadn't pooped for 2 days either and the doctor said it was because he wasn't getting enough nourishment.... i can't even feed my own baby, how sad is that?!?! i really felt like he had been eating better and i was making more of an effort to watch him while he nursed, but i guess i wasn't... ugh, this is so frustrating! so the doctor said to start back with the formula again and bump it up to 1.5-2.0 ounces for the next few days and we'll have his weight checked again on tuesday morning... i'm terried that he'll gain and once i go back to just nursing - he'll lose again... :(

so we're back to the nursing, pumping, and supplementing schedule - thank god eric is still home and can help me because i'd be lost w/out him... he has been such a great help with feedings and is even getting up during the night to do the formula part (what a trooper!)... deck's latest thing is peeing on him when he's getting fed - have no idea how it's happening but i swear, it's like every time... pretty funny... :)

the weather has been so nice here in maryland - hard to believe thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away... i took deck out in the bjorn earlier and liked it, though i had to make sure and walk slow so i wouldn't lose my balance and fall (since more weight is in the front)... then again, maybe i'm just being paranoid...

i finally put up deck's name/letters and some decals in the nursery today... i've already changed my mind about the one wall (with the dream & family words) and will put up his monthly photos instead... i think that would look nice and it will be cool to see how he changes each month, right before our eyes... :)

well, it's almost time for another feeding, then we're making pizza for dinner, and watching the steelers/patriots game... still hard to believe that around this time, 4 sundays ago, i was in labor and about to give birth to deck... damn time flies! :)

happy sunday...

the sling

i tried out the sling today, deck seems to like it and went right to sleep... he's gotten rather fussy when we try and put him down, wonder how long this will last... :(


we had a follow-up appointment with the lactation specialist today and it appears that the marathon feedings have paid off... deck gained 10 ounces since last week and is now above his birth weight! needless to say - we were all very happy! yay! after doing some celebrating - she observed me nursing and gave some pointers on how to hold him, how to make sure he's eating/swallowing, and how to keep him awake (he's still a very sleepy baby)... i was doing all of these things, but not in the most optimal way so i think they will help immensely... she also said we can stretch feedings to 3-hours and cut-back on the supplemental feedings (unless i feel he didn't nurse well or is not subdued by just his pacifier)... unfortunately - i still have to pump after each feeding and though i was under the impression that i should be producing a lot of milk by now, that is not the goal... it's more for stimulation and to keep my body in the mode of producing enough for him... we have another appt. on friday and if deck gains a bit more weight, we can stop the supplemental feeding and pumping... fingers crossed! :)

the rest of the day was spent getting our new routine down and then deck and i went for a 30-minute walk... it's supposed to be in the low 60s for the rest of the week so i want to take advantage of it as much as possible...

i have heard that a lot of moms like to use baby slings, so i did some research and ordered one from the reviews were pretty good (as well as the price) so we'll see how it goes... a friend of mine said they were great for using around the house esp. when your baby likes to be held all the time - this may come in handy when i need to clean... :)

i haven't mentioned weightloss since having the baby - shocker! i was pretty bloated for about a week after delivering, and considering i completely forgot to weigh myself before we left for the hospital - i have no idea where i was... i do know i was around 206 the week before so it may be safe to say i was close to 210... i won't be able to exercise until my 6-week check-up, but here are my stats as of today:

pre-pregnancy: 170.8
pre-delivery: 210
11/9/10: 188.4
pounds lost: 21.6

well, it's almost time for another feeding... :)

happy tuesday...

he loves his mom

haven't had much time to do anything besides nurse, pump, formula, eat, sleep, walk, and this... we go back to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully he's gained some weight (fingers crossed)... :)

where did october go?

it's a chilly and rainy day here in maryland - deck is sleeping and eric is out tinkering in the garage... think i'll stay in my jammies all day - not like i have anywhere to go really... we are on a newly, regimented feeding plan after meeting with the lactation specialist yesterday - she was VERY helpful and shed a lot of light on why he's not gaining weight... because he's not strong enough to feed at 100% right now, my body isn't producing enough milk and he's not getting enough nourishment... the new gameplan is 1) continue nursing on both sides but be more aggressive, 2) pump for 15-minutes to get things get more stimulated, and 3) feed him 1 ounce of formula after each feeding... we are not thrilled with the formula - he spits up more and doesn't smell as nice, BUT i know this is to help him grow and get stronger... she said i may not even produce milk at first and that it will take a few days for my body to respond, but to keep at it and eventually the DQ (dairy queen) will be open for business again... even though i felt a bit overwhelmed after leaving the office, and still do because of all the extra work we have to do - i know this is what's best for deckard... we go back on tuesday and she hopes he will have gained a few ounces and be back to his birth weight... if so, then we can scale back on everything and just concentrate on nursing again... i am SO looking forward to that... :)

our 1st halloween was pretty uneventful - i think we got about 10 trick o'treaters altogether... my sister found this cow costume and though it was a few sizes too large, i put it on deck anyway and tried to get a few pics... and notice how he has his hands/fingers in his mouth all the time - too funny! i liked the "i'm batty for daddy" onesie better... :)

happy thursday...