back to the drawing board

friday was not a good day - we went back to the doctor for a weight check and deck had lost 2 ounces since tuesday... i literally cried in the room after the nurse weighed him and felt like a complete failure... and to make matters worse, he hadn't pooped for 2 days either and the doctor said it was because he wasn't getting enough nourishment.... i can't even feed my own baby, how sad is that?!?! i really felt like he had been eating better and i was making more of an effort to watch him while he nursed, but i guess i wasn't... ugh, this is so frustrating! so the doctor said to start back with the formula again and bump it up to 1.5-2.0 ounces for the next few days and we'll have his weight checked again on tuesday morning... i'm terried that he'll gain and once i go back to just nursing - he'll lose again... :(

so we're back to the nursing, pumping, and supplementing schedule - thank god eric is still home and can help me because i'd be lost w/out him... he has been such a great help with feedings and is even getting up during the night to do the formula part (what a trooper!)... deck's latest thing is peeing on him when he's getting fed - have no idea how it's happening but i swear, it's like every time... pretty funny... :)

the weather has been so nice here in maryland - hard to believe thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away... i took deck out in the bjorn earlier and liked it, though i had to make sure and walk slow so i wouldn't lose my balance and fall (since more weight is in the front)... then again, maybe i'm just being paranoid...

i finally put up deck's name/letters and some decals in the nursery today... i've already changed my mind about the one wall (with the dream & family words) and will put up his monthly photos instead... i think that would look nice and it will be cool to see how he changes each month, right before our eyes... :)

well, it's almost time for another feeding, then we're making pizza for dinner, and watching the steelers/patriots game... still hard to believe that around this time, 4 sundays ago, i was in labor and about to give birth to deck... damn time flies! :)

happy sunday...

Tracey  – (12:03 PM)  

You need to try and not be so hard on yourself - sometimes we have no control over nature. I know breast feeding is important to a lot of women, but I always knew that I would bottle feed so that my husband could participate in feeding, etc and despite what the experts may say...My son has hardly been sick a day in his 16 year old life and he is an all A student. It will all be okay and you already created the miracle in bringing him into this world so you have not failed at anything. Hang in there!

JODI  – (7:12 PM)  

Thank you, Tracey... :)

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