365 days gone like that

happy new year's eve, everyone... and merry belated christmas... it's been a great holiday with the little one and i'm looking forward to 2011 and all that it brings... we have decided to stay in this evening and have plans of ordering dinner thru takeout taxi and watching paranormal activity... we also may try putting deck in the crib (overnight) and i'm trying my best not to think about it since him leaving our bed makes me very sad... it's been such a joy lately watching him discover his hands, coo, and stick-out his tongue when we go to bed - i will miss his cute little face that's for sure, but i know it's time... he starts going to daycare in 11 days!!! :(

christmas was good - we attempted the candlelight church service and deck was good for the most part, but he had his fussy parts so we took turns walking around (i think he enjoyed the music though)... on christmas morning, we had a quiet few hours here opening presents and hanging out before heading to my mom's for dinner... eric got me a new camera - the nikon coolpix s8100 - which is the one in that commercial with ashton kutcher... i haven't used all the settings yet, but it's fantastic in low-light and the continuous shooting is pretty cool... it can also shoot video in HD so i'm pretty excited... deck got me a necklace with his name and birthdate and i plan on wearing it everyday... eric loved the print i had framed for him and we'll be hanging it in the LR as soon as i take down all the decorations... :)

on sunday - my brother hosted the family christmas dinner so we headed to PA and spent the afternoon with my mom, my sister's family, and my brother's daughter and husband... deck got a lot of clothes, books, and this dog named scout that can be programed to play music, games, and read to him... it started to snow in the evening so we headed home and then hosted my nieces here since we were going shopping the following day... that was a fiasco, that's all i have to say - there's was a lot of miscommunication between where to meet and when... i had to feed deck in the nordstrom's ladies room, and then couldn't find my mom & sister because my nieces had her cellphone... ugh! when i finally found them - my mom said she had lost her purse in macy's for a time but thankfully, someone had turned it in and nothing was missing (thank god!)... it was a long day, that's for sure, and we were happy to get home and resume our normal schedule... :)

this past week went by pretty quickly and i only have 1 more left before going back to work... i can't believe it's gone by this fast and here i thought i would have nothing to do and be bored out of my mind... granted, i've had the holidays to keep me busy but really - i didn't do anything over what i normally do (though i didn't bake any cookies)... i did go to the foot doctor yesterday and talked to him about surgery #2 on my foot - it's been okay but during the last month or so, it's started to hurt pretty bad and i know the other tumor needs to come out... when, i'm not sure and will have to talk to my boss about being out another week sometime in february... they took molds of my feet for some orthodics and he said this should help relieve pressure on the bottom of my foot (esp. since i have high arches) - they should come in around 3 weeks...

today, we have lunch plans with my friend and then we need to find some dress pants for eric since he has an interview on monday... and we both decided that we need to hunker down and lose weight in 2011, so i'll probably do weight watchers again... i thought about nutrisystem since they upgraded their food, but it's not recommended for women that are breastfeeding... :(

i hope you all have a wonderful new year's and i'll talk to you next year! :)

Merry Christmas

santa is coming

merry christmas eve! i can't believe christmas is tomorrow... even though i've been home during the holidays, i'm not sure how much i've been able to take-in since i've been preoccupied with deck... eric is on his way back from pittsburgh and i'll be thrilled when he gets home... his mom's surgery went really well - they were able to repair both valves so things are looking good right now... she'll be in the hospital for another week or so and then will go to the nursing home to recover along w/his dad who's staying there... though deck and i have been alone, i'm glad eric was able to take the time to be w/his family at such a stressful and scary time... thanks for all the thoughts and prayers... :)

deck had his 2-month check-up on monday - he's up to 9lb 2oz but is still on the low end of the weight range (5%)... she said that was nothing to worry about since he's still gaining, but it worries me that he's still so small... i told eric that i want to do a 'test' feeding and while he gives deck a bottle - i'll pump and see how much i'm actually producing (roughly anyway)... deck has been doing this thing where he'll be eating for a bit, and then stop and just smile and make faces... he won't eat anymore regardless if i burp him or swap sides several times... he did this yesterday and i finally gave up, put him down, pumped for a bit, and then gave him what little i got plus some formula because i KNEW he wasn't full... eric is quick to blame the pump and says we may need a more powerful machine, but that still doesn't help me when i'm nursing... fact of the matter is, i don't want deck to go hungry... :(

tonight we will attempt the 10:00 candlelight service with deck - not sure how it will go, but if i feed him really well beforehand, he might sleep or at least be happy for most of the service... tomorrow, eric and i will be here and then will head to my mom's for dinner and then on sunday, we'll head to my brothers to see everyone else... my nieces will be coming home with us and depending on the weather (supposed to snow), we may go shopping on monday... if it's cold and yucky, i'd rather not go anywhere and just stay in my jammies all day... :)

well, i better get off here since it's almost time to feed again... i hope you all have a very, merry christmas and best wishes to you and your family... :)

this isn't my christmas present, right?

so much for spending the weekend with the hubby - eric has been out for most of the day looking at new trucks, and is in the process of finishing up the paperwork as we speak (see pic below)... it's not that we didn't love the truck we had, but there was no room for a car seat and that's a big factor considering we go camping and take long trips to PA... he did his research and even drove it here so i could go for a ride - i gave my approval though it really wasn't needed (but very appreciated)... my dad always owned a truck and i have found memories of riding around with him and my dog, and am glad that eric will be able take deck on road trips to home depot and god knows where else... i love the color! :)

here's a link to more of deck's 2-month photos... i think they came out smashingly... :)

and in other news - eric's mom is having a heart valve replacement on thursday so he may be heading to pittsburgh for a few days... his parents were supposed to be heading to their condo in florida, but she had an abscessed tooth and because of that - the doctor discovered that she had more urgent matters to take care of... unfortunately, eric's dad will have to go into a nursing home for a few weeks while she recovers, but i feel this is the best option since she's his primary caregiver and will need taken care of herself... i know it's such a crappy time be having surgery, but i'm glad she's not putting it off and that there's a lot of family around to help out... prayers and positive thoughts would be appreciated... :)

i can't believe that christmas is 1 week away! i have 1/2 of my shopping done and will need to step up the pace this week... we're not a big-present type of family, but the nieces still get presents and i'm sure deck will get his share of stuff so i'm pretty excited... still debating on how we're going to manage christmas eve service, but i'm hoping he'll be well fed and sleepy... :)

hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend and GO STEELERS! :)

Deckard @ 2 months


today was deck's first meeting with santa and it went really well - i timed it so he was well fed and when we got to the mall, there was no line! hard to believe, but i was really glad (i can't imagine how crazy weekends are)... the gentleman playing santa was super nice, quite authentic, and handled deck very carefully so you could tell he had years of experience... deck's eyes were closed for most of the time, but he managed to open them so we could get a good shot - that's my boy... i've already scanned and ordered prints for our xmas cards so i consider today a success... :)

eric got home this morning around 4am - his flights were delayed from both florida and then atlanta because of the weather... poor guy... he's sleeping in the recliner right now and i hate to wake him but probably should so he can go to bed...

tomorrow i'm doing some shopping w/mom, can't wait... :)

happy monday!

guess i should start shopping

been trying to post this since yesterday, but since eric is out of town until late this evening - i've been solo this weekend w/the baby... it's gone pretty well considering it's just like any other day - i just don't get a break in the evenings which i do appreciate and miss incredibly... i love my little boy, but sometimes i just need a break from holding him, or changing his diaper, or trying to stop him crying... thankfully, he's taking a nap right now so all is well in the weakland household (for now anyway)... :)

the past week has been busy - deck went to both our offices for a visit... eric's department threw us a baby shower last friday so it was cool seeing him walk around, showing him off (like any proud father should!)... this past friday, i took deck to my office so he could meet everyone - i am SO lucky to have my own office and used it not once, but twice, to nurse... there's been a lot of construction going on so it was cool to see the progress, as well as catch-up on what's been going on, have some lunch, and then head back before rush hour started... considering this was deck's first trip on metro, he did awesome! :)

i went back to the doctor on tuesday to have deck's weight checked again - he is up to 8.11 and right on par for gaining at an average rate (1/2 ounce a day)... he's still on the low-end, but doing fine and all the concerns/questions that i raised were answered... this is basically the hardest stretch because he's not just sleeping and eating anymore - he's more awake, but not old enough to keep himself occupied... i'm finding that we have to hold him more in the evenings because just rocking or the using the pacifier doesn't cut it right now, and everything i've read said there's nothing wrong with comforting him... so that's what i'll keep doing... :)

yesterday, i ran up to my mom's for a while - she hadn't seen deck since thanksgiving so i was glad that she had some grandma time w/him... we were laughing at how deck was trying to find his thumb and trying to talk at the same time - so cute! :)

today has been rather boring though i FINALLY finished our wedding album and placed an order for 2 books (13 months late!)... i also managed to do laundry, wrap one of eric's presents, take out the trash and recycling, and watch some football (steelers won and skins lost)... i spoke to eric as well and he is anxious to come home and i can't wait to see him! :)

since eric is taking off tomorrow, i'd like to go to the mall and get deck's photo taken with santa... i'm HOPING that going during the week will be better than a weekend so wish me luck! :)

happy sunday...

growing like a weed

so much for keeping this blog up-to-date... the past week has been a blur with the holiday and all, and now we believe deck is going thru a growth spurt so evenings are rougher than usual and i'm feeding him constantly (or so it seems)... he appears to be okay during the day but as soon as 6:00 comes - he's a different baby... i hope it passes soon because it's taking quite the toll on me emotionally and physically... :(

thanksgiving was good - we went to my sister's in western maryland and spent the day w/them, my brother, and my mom... deck was out of sorts for much of the day - he made the 3-hour drive w/out waking up but as soon as we got there, all hell broke loose and he was a mess for the rest of the day... i had to hold him while eating so i don't remember much of the actual meal... on the following day, we headed to pittsburgh where he was a little better but still out of sorts - poor guy, so many new surroundings and people... we also had him sleep in this portable bed type thing and i didn't like the fact that he was on the floor and not between us like at home... people kept saying that he won't know where he is, but i did... unfortunately, the drive home from there is longer (4+ hours), we had to stop so i could do a diaper change and nurse... guess i'm not the only person who's done that in the parking lot of a gas station... we came back saturday night to beat the sunday traffic and had the next day to just chill-out and relax...

this week has also been busy with doctor's appointments - i had my 6-week OB checkup and he said everything looked good and that i can resume all pre-pregnancy activities (which have yet to happen because of the fussy baby)... i would LOVE to start exercising but can't w/the way things are going right now - hopefully next week will be better... i can't even think about starting WW again plus i heard there's a new plan so i'll have to do some research... i also went to the endocrinologist and was given the go-ahead to stop my daily lovenox shots - yay! so no more of those for me until we get pregnant again (if and when)... i also went to two different Targets to find a 3' tree, 2 grocery stores, and a dollar store... poor deck, good thing he likes his car seat...

tomorrow, eric's office is throwing us a baby shower so i'll have to drive in to his office - hope i can deck and myself out of the door in time... i've been able to work around his eating schedule pretty well this week, but the way things are going right now - it's anyone's guess how it will go... not much i can do at this point besides give him the boob and be patient...

and ontop of all this - i've been trying to decorate for xmas and it's not going well... i am so used to getting things out and getting everything done in a matter of a day or so, but the dining room has been a mess for days and i'm still only half done... i have to do things while deck's sleeping and if i'm lucky, that's about 2 hours during the day at this point... i keep wondering why i'm bothering this year, but damnit - it's decks first xmas and i refuse to do things half-assed (it's bad enough that we're not getting a real tree)... i've tried using the sling too and he's not liking it for some reason - maybe i'm doing it wrong but he seems really crammed in there... :(

sorry for all the debbie-downer stuff - its just been a rough few days... hope you had a nice holiday and here's some pictures from our family visits... enjoy! :)

to all my blogger friends

can she do it?

well, today is finally here - i'm home alone with deck and so far, so good... i was a mess last night though and cried for a good 15-minutes - the thought of being here alone, after eric has been here for over a month, terrifies me... it's not that i don't think i can handle it - i'm just worried about the times that he cries and doesn't stop, or when i need to pump and he's crying, or when i'm exhausted and can't rest because he's still awake, or a million other things... eric has been such a HUGE help and i am SO thankful that he was able to take-off this long, but all good things must come to an end... as of right now - he'll be home in about 5 hours... :)

update on deck's weight: we went back last thursday for his 1-month check-up and although he's gaining at a normal weight, he lost an ounce since the previous tuesday... so the doctor suggested beefing up the formula again to 2-ounces every other feeding and to continue to pump for 10-minutes... i was a bit upset and still am, but am trying to stay positive and know this is what has to be done in order for him to keep gaining and get stronger... eric has been very concerned about my productive and found this herb called fenugreek that's supposed to help women increase their milk supply (it doesn't work for everyone though)... i've only taken a few capsules so we'll see if it works or not - worth a shot i suppose... :)

our weekend was good - my mom came over on saturday and we went to a church holiday craft thing and then ran to michaels so i could pick-up a few things... saturday night, some good friends of mine stopped by to finally meet deck and then we had quiche for dinner...

yesterday was our 1-year anniversary, hard to believe i know... my how time flies! i can't believe that it's only been a year, but then again - we've had an incredibly busy year between the baby, the house renovations, and going to france for our honeymoon... we had talked about maybe getting my mom to watch deck so we could go see a movie or have dinner, but we ended up staying home, watching football, and just enjoying the day together... it's not like we can't celebrate it another day, right? ;)

well, it's almost time to feed again and then i'd like to take him for a walk since it's pretty nice out... the only other thing i want to accomplish today is put up a small christmas tree in the nursery - we got out the decorations yesterday and now the garage is full of big, blue bins (8 to be exact)... not sure when or if we'll get a tree - i'd really like too, but am not sure where we would put it since the LR has been rearranged and all the walls have furniture... quite the challenge! :)

happy monday...


today marks deckard's 1-month birthday - still hard to believe that he's only been here that long... my days and nights blur together most of the time and i have no concept of what day it is, but i do know that the last 30 days or so have been the most trying, exhausting, emotional, wonderful, and utterly amazing time of my life... since things have been so busy, i'm not sure if i've actually had time to REALLY process becoming a mother... i mean i KNOW this is my role in life now and it's something i've dreamed about since i can remember, but i'm not sure that it's fully sunk-in... seems silly, but it's true... perhaps when eric goes back to work next week and i'm home alone, with deck, i'll really understand what all this means and where my life is going... i'll write about my thoughts on the first month very soon... :)

since we didn't have a doctor's appt. or anywhere to go today, we were able to go back to sleep after his 7:00 feeding which was nice... i made oatmeal for breakfast and then did the usual feed/tv thing for a while, then did some laundry, and then decided to go for a walk around a nature center/garden not far from the house... we were blessed with gorgeous weather again so i wanted deck and i to take advantage of it and spent about an hour walking around and taking photos...

gotta run, baby's crying... happy hump day! :)

2-days in a row

we had more good news today... deck gained 10 oz. since last friday and is now above 8 lb. which is above and beyond what he should've gained, according to the doctor... nice job, baby boy! he's now just a few oz. short of where he should be on the weight scale and she is very confident that he'll keep moving in the right direction... she still wants me to pump for 10-minutes after each feeding and we're to cut back on the formula, unless he needs it (i.e. doesn't nurse well or the pacifier doesn't soothe him)... this news really makes me feel better and yes, i know we still have a long way to go but at least he's over the hump and making progress... thanks for all the words of encouragement... :)

the weather has been pretty rainy and cold today, so after we got back from the doctor - i rested for about an hour (don't think i ever fell asleep) and then we caught-up on some shows we had on the DVR... we are fans of boardwalk empire and hoarders, and now walking dead which is on AMC - great show, if you're into zombies... ;)

my thrift store shopping trip yesterday resulted in a few things, though trying on pants was rather discouraging... since i refused to try on size 18s, i somehow managed to find 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of pants (16s) as well as some shirts and a few sleepers for deck... i also found a harley-davidson tshirt but it's way too big right now and will be perfect for next summer (hopefully)... :)

well, i guess i need to start thinking about dinner and getting deck awake for his next feeding... it's pitch black outside and feels much later than 6:20 - certainly not liking this daylight savings time...

happy tuesday...

breathing a sigh of relief

FINALLY some good news! The owner of the daycare called me this morning and apologized for the phone problems that she was having last week... I had tried calling her for about 2 days and couldn't get thru... On Friday , I told Eric that we should just walk there and see if we can talk to her in person (it's literally 4 blocks away)... Unfortunately, we weren't able to talk to her, but met with the other woman that works there and passed along my contact info... I was so worried, but am glad things worked out because it's a great location and I think Deck will be well taken care of... :)

On the agenda for today (besides taking a shower!), is to head to the big thrift store and find some jeans/pants to tie me over until I lose more weight... My 12s are way too small and so are some of my 14s - no worries though, I will not be that size forever... I can't wait to hop on the treadmill everyday... Anyone know how soon I can start doing WW?

Time to feed Deck, hope you have a great Monday... :)

back to the drawing board

friday was not a good day - we went back to the doctor for a weight check and deck had lost 2 ounces since tuesday... i literally cried in the room after the nurse weighed him and felt like a complete failure... and to make matters worse, he hadn't pooped for 2 days either and the doctor said it was because he wasn't getting enough nourishment.... i can't even feed my own baby, how sad is that?!?! i really felt like he had been eating better and i was making more of an effort to watch him while he nursed, but i guess i wasn't... ugh, this is so frustrating! so the doctor said to start back with the formula again and bump it up to 1.5-2.0 ounces for the next few days and we'll have his weight checked again on tuesday morning... i'm terried that he'll gain and once i go back to just nursing - he'll lose again... :(

so we're back to the nursing, pumping, and supplementing schedule - thank god eric is still home and can help me because i'd be lost w/out him... he has been such a great help with feedings and is even getting up during the night to do the formula part (what a trooper!)... deck's latest thing is peeing on him when he's getting fed - have no idea how it's happening but i swear, it's like every time... pretty funny... :)

the weather has been so nice here in maryland - hard to believe thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away... i took deck out in the bjorn earlier and liked it, though i had to make sure and walk slow so i wouldn't lose my balance and fall (since more weight is in the front)... then again, maybe i'm just being paranoid...

i finally put up deck's name/letters and some decals in the nursery today... i've already changed my mind about the one wall (with the dream & family words) and will put up his monthly photos instead... i think that would look nice and it will be cool to see how he changes each month, right before our eyes... :)

well, it's almost time for another feeding, then we're making pizza for dinner, and watching the steelers/patriots game... still hard to believe that around this time, 4 sundays ago, i was in labor and about to give birth to deck... damn time flies! :)

happy sunday...

the sling

i tried out the sling today, deck seems to like it and went right to sleep... he's gotten rather fussy when we try and put him down, wonder how long this will last... :(


we had a follow-up appointment with the lactation specialist today and it appears that the marathon feedings have paid off... deck gained 10 ounces since last week and is now above his birth weight! needless to say - we were all very happy! yay! after doing some celebrating - she observed me nursing and gave some pointers on how to hold him, how to make sure he's eating/swallowing, and how to keep him awake (he's still a very sleepy baby)... i was doing all of these things, but not in the most optimal way so i think they will help immensely... she also said we can stretch feedings to 3-hours and cut-back on the supplemental feedings (unless i feel he didn't nurse well or is not subdued by just his pacifier)... unfortunately - i still have to pump after each feeding and though i was under the impression that i should be producing a lot of milk by now, that is not the goal... it's more for stimulation and to keep my body in the mode of producing enough for him... we have another appt. on friday and if deck gains a bit more weight, we can stop the supplemental feeding and pumping... fingers crossed! :)

the rest of the day was spent getting our new routine down and then deck and i went for a 30-minute walk... it's supposed to be in the low 60s for the rest of the week so i want to take advantage of it as much as possible...

i have heard that a lot of moms like to use baby slings, so i did some research and ordered one from www.hugamonkey.com... the reviews were pretty good (as well as the price) so we'll see how it goes... a friend of mine said they were great for using around the house esp. when your baby likes to be held all the time - this may come in handy when i need to clean... :)

i haven't mentioned weightloss since having the baby - shocker! i was pretty bloated for about a week after delivering, and considering i completely forgot to weigh myself before we left for the hospital - i have no idea where i was... i do know i was around 206 the week before so it may be safe to say i was close to 210... i won't be able to exercise until my 6-week check-up, but here are my stats as of today:

pre-pregnancy: 170.8
pre-delivery: 210
11/9/10: 188.4
pounds lost: 21.6

well, it's almost time for another feeding... :)

happy tuesday...

he loves his mom

haven't had much time to do anything besides nurse, pump, formula, eat, sleep, walk, and this... we go back to the doctor tomorrow so hopefully he's gained some weight (fingers crossed)... :)

where did october go?

it's a chilly and rainy day here in maryland - deck is sleeping and eric is out tinkering in the garage... think i'll stay in my jammies all day - not like i have anywhere to go really... we are on a newly, regimented feeding plan after meeting with the lactation specialist yesterday - she was VERY helpful and shed a lot of light on why he's not gaining weight... because he's not strong enough to feed at 100% right now, my body isn't producing enough milk and he's not getting enough nourishment... the new gameplan is 1) continue nursing on both sides but be more aggressive, 2) pump for 15-minutes to get things get more stimulated, and 3) feed him 1 ounce of formula after each feeding... we are not thrilled with the formula - he spits up more and doesn't smell as nice, BUT i know this is to help him grow and get stronger... she said i may not even produce milk at first and that it will take a few days for my body to respond, but to keep at it and eventually the DQ (dairy queen) will be open for business again... even though i felt a bit overwhelmed after leaving the office, and still do because of all the extra work we have to do - i know this is what's best for deckard... we go back on tuesday and she hopes he will have gained a few ounces and be back to his birth weight... if so, then we can scale back on everything and just concentrate on nursing again... i am SO looking forward to that... :)

our 1st halloween was pretty uneventful - i think we got about 10 trick o'treaters altogether... my sister found this cow costume and though it was a few sizes too large, i put it on deck anyway and tried to get a few pics... and notice how he has his hands/fingers in his mouth all the time - too funny! i liked the "i'm batty for daddy" onesie better... :)

happy thursday...