santa is coming

merry christmas eve! i can't believe christmas is tomorrow... even though i've been home during the holidays, i'm not sure how much i've been able to take-in since i've been preoccupied with deck... eric is on his way back from pittsburgh and i'll be thrilled when he gets home... his mom's surgery went really well - they were able to repair both valves so things are looking good right now... she'll be in the hospital for another week or so and then will go to the nursing home to recover along w/his dad who's staying there... though deck and i have been alone, i'm glad eric was able to take the time to be w/his family at such a stressful and scary time... thanks for all the thoughts and prayers... :)

deck had his 2-month check-up on monday - he's up to 9lb 2oz but is still on the low end of the weight range (5%)... she said that was nothing to worry about since he's still gaining, but it worries me that he's still so small... i told eric that i want to do a 'test' feeding and while he gives deck a bottle - i'll pump and see how much i'm actually producing (roughly anyway)... deck has been doing this thing where he'll be eating for a bit, and then stop and just smile and make faces... he won't eat anymore regardless if i burp him or swap sides several times... he did this yesterday and i finally gave up, put him down, pumped for a bit, and then gave him what little i got plus some formula because i KNEW he wasn't full... eric is quick to blame the pump and says we may need a more powerful machine, but that still doesn't help me when i'm nursing... fact of the matter is, i don't want deck to go hungry... :(

tonight we will attempt the 10:00 candlelight service with deck - not sure how it will go, but if i feed him really well beforehand, he might sleep or at least be happy for most of the service... tomorrow, eric and i will be here and then will head to my mom's for dinner and then on sunday, we'll head to my brothers to see everyone else... my nieces will be coming home with us and depending on the weather (supposed to snow), we may go shopping on monday... if it's cold and yucky, i'd rather not go anywhere and just stay in my jammies all day... :)

well, i better get off here since it's almost time to feed again... i hope you all have a very, merry christmas and best wishes to you and your family... :)