wish i could change my outlook as easy as this blog

it was time for a change on the old blog, i still have some things to tweek but for the most part - i think it will suffice for the summer... i've been working on HTML formatting for most of the week at work, so doing something creative like this is always a nice break... it's been a short but very busy week, i'm just glad it's friday! TGIF! :)

i went for a jog yesterday and couldn't do my usual course - i felt heavy and slow for some reason and ended up walking 2/3 of the way... do you ever feel like you're just going thru the motions and not really "into" what you're doing? that's been me lately - i keep saying i'm going to go to the other gym and take some classes, but i haven't... i keep saying that i'm going to track on the weekends, but i haven't... i saw 161 on the scale last week and for whatever reason - 166 is my new best friend... i KNOW i haven't gained that much real weight in a week, but still - it's a bit depressing nonetheless... :(

KNOWing is easy... DOing is hard...

instead of giving myself 1 month to get settled, that has now turned into 2 months... i just can't seem to get focused, or stay on track, or make any progress and that bothers me... why are things different this time? why is my attitude so blah? i mean, i know what i have to do (how to eat, how much to exercise, how to be patient w/losing, etc.) but it's just not clicking... am i bored of WW? is it time to try something else? do i need to set a real goal? i have my 20-year reunion in september and would love to walk-in looking fabulous (not that i wouldn't anyway, but you know what i mean)... getting to 150 would be ideal, but i'm not going to starve myself or do anything drastic in order to make that goal...

so once again, i'm in the pondering-what-do-do-with-myself stage... any advice, comments, or places of inspiration would be much appreciated... :)

weekend plans: not much - maybe some yard work and some exercise... what about you?

happy friday...

not on purpose

i've been avoiding this blog, not because i haven't had the time to post (okay, maybe a little), but because i've made NO progress with getting back on track or losing weight... i gave myself the month of april to get settled and to get thru some big projects at work - now it's may and my motivation is gone... perhaps it's hiding in one of the boxes i haven't unpacked yet, but either way - i need to find it soon... it's funny/weird/sad/frustrating to look back and know that i was 10 pounds lighter last year - i can see it my face when i look at pictures... and i can see it when i'm trying to find something to wear or when i'm staring myself in the mirror at the gym... mind you, i had no qualms about buying size 12s on sunday, but i'm just pissed that i HAD too (if that makes any sense)... :(

these are the small things that i've managed to do lately:

• i've continued to weigh myself every wednesday and log that into my WW etools
  
• i started tracking yesterday (again) and really have to work at doing it every day, especially on the weekends... i've given myself so many 'free passes' that it's hard to do something else and actually 'think' about what i'm eating again
• i've started to jog again and though it's slow, i know it will improve over time
• i've started to weight-train again
  
• i've printed out the class schedules for the gym near my house, just haven't gone yet
  
• and i've been eating more salads and fruit

so the list is short but it's better than nothing... i know the more i exercise and get back into a routine, things will get better - i'm just having a hard time right now... i hate myself for giving up so many times and i know i'm human, but seriously - what is it going to take to lose weight and lose it for good? is it because i'm older? is it because my job now requires more effort/time? should i try another plan? ugh! i just wish there was a simple answer to all this, but then life would be too damn easy right? :(

sorry for the serious post, just wanted to let you know how i was doing...

happy thursday...

too good to be true

i'm too busy for a real post today but just wanted to let you know DO NOT ORDER THOSE BOOTS... i received both pairs today and they are a piece of crap - they're too wide in the foot and ankle and seriously - there's so way they are 100% leather (can you say pleather instead?)... i was SO excited to find them online and even more excited when they arrived but i should've known - the deal was too good to be true... so my search continues... :o(

dinner w/my girlfriend was great last night - we went for vietnamese so i had a nice, big salad for an appetizer and then ordered their 5-spice chicken in coconut/ginger sauce... it was SO good but i stopped myself halfway thru and took the rest home (and had it for lunch today)...

no gym today (it's still closed) but i'm going to kickboxing tonight so 1:2 ain't bad... work is killing me today, my boss is in a pissy mood, and she's taking it out on us - i hate when that happens... :o(

happy thursday...