happy fall

happy fall, everyone... :o)

i have been a TOTAL blog-slacker and want to apologize - work has been stressful and honestly, i'm not even getting on the computer when i get home at night... i just haven't been in the mood really (or for a lot of things lately), so i'm hoping to snap out of this funk soon... i can't really put a finger on what/why but i know it's there, looming behind the scenes, and the only thing i'm able to focus on is work - everything else has been put on the back burner... i know i'm not fully-depressed because i have no problems eating, sleeping, or bouts of crying but i know it's something... ugh!

i've lost focus in the last month or so and it's not that i feel myself slipping, i just don't feel in control anymore... putting myself and my health first was a no-brainer but lately, that hasn't been the case... compared to last year, i haven't done anything new exercise-wise - there's no pilates or kick-boxing class... i'm lucky to get to the gym 3-4 times a week right but know that will change soon once this annual report is done)... as for my diet - i'm not following any plan and yes, this is what i wanted a few months ago but now i'm not so sure... i've gained a few pounds and though i was safe for a while with my clothes - a few pieces are fitting differently and that's like a major wake-up call for me... i feel like i've been skating along, without getting caught, and now the alarms have gone off...

i know some of you will say, "i told you so" or "i'm surprised you lasted this long" and that's fine, but that's not why i'm telling you all this... regardless of what i decided in july, how much i've gained, or how a pair of pants fit snuggly - i do NOT regret what i did... if there's one thing that i've learned in my adult life - it's letting go and moving on... holding onto things and letting past mistakes run your life is not the answer - you will not get anywhere, learn anything new, or grow as a person... how does that saying go, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself"...

SO this is where i am right now... i have no plan nor the time to focus right now (esp. this week) but know i have to DO something... and soon... i don't want to keep sliding in the wrong direction and then hate myself for not reaching out sooner...

happy tuesday...

Rebecca  – (10:39 AM)  

who would say i told you so?!

i dont think any of us would.

your recognizing what needs to do and thats a great first step!

i definately hear you though on the drive.

how i felt saturday is not how i felt yesterday.

maybe its the change in season or temperature, but all i want to do is hibernate with a bag of candy.

Teresa  – (11:01 AM)  

Sorry to hear you are feeling down. Hey no judgement from here. Sorry to hear that work is taking over, it will pass. I'm sure once the pressure is off work you will find your focus. You can do it!

marie  – (2:43 PM)  

Sometimes you just have to live life and have fun. :)

Elephant Steps  – (6:58 PM)  

Wow if anyone really said "I told you so" or "I'm surprised you lasted this long" they would need a talking to, and they would have a serious problem. I personally think it's great you spread your wings and tried life on your own. And like I said before gaining one pound a month is awesome when you aren't on any plan. I know you are upset about it, so nothing I say will make you feel better, but I really don't think you have anything to beat yourself up over. At least you know how you can fix that little too snug for your liking feeling.

Vickie  – (8:44 AM)  

this/your posting actually reminded me of a very long ago one (of yours) talking about working your way out of debt - or perhaps getting ahead with your $$$ - not sure which angle.

It was something like getting on a budget and having a plan and taking steps each week/month to concentrate on your specific goals -

I think you were paying off something (credit card debt?) and then moving on to pay off/buy something else - (car?)

I am struck again and again in our little blog world by the parallels of $$$, clutter, and weight loss/health issues.

I thought this was a really good posting. I love to read that when someone has a little back slide (we all do) instead of woulda/shoulda/coulda and paralysis - they have a reality moment and DEAL.

That shows real awareness and growth.

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