complacent

com·pla·cent
1. Contented to a fault; self-satisfied and unconcerned

i'm wondering if this is what i've become, about my weightloss, because it seems as of late - a gain on the scale doesn't freak me out anymore... nor do i jump up & down or shoot-off fireworks when i see a loss (probably because i see the same pounds come/go these days)... weekends have pretty much become a free-for-all because i know come monday, its back on plan so might as well enjoy myself... and if i skip exercise, it's more like "so what" than "i need to work twice as hard tomorrow"... so what gives...

i'm sure i'm not the only one that goes thru this - pondering the whole "is this where i'm supposed to be?" question... just HOW important is it, to get to that ideal weight - the one stuck in your head for whatever reason... for me, 150 is only 9.4 pounds away and to some - that's a piece of cake... but looking over the last year or so, i've been around 160 and that was even during my 5K training where i was running 5x/week... i keep thinking, just how far do i have to push myself to get to a stupid number anyway... is going down one more size worth the effort? will i feel any different? will i feel more attractive? will people treat me differently? probably not but it's that (insert word here) that makes you want to keep going because you've set a goal and you want to achieve it... giving up just makes everything you've done in the past, seem pointless and who can live with that... as much as i want too, i just don't think i can but i'm going to need help...

i've been in a fog for the last few days (personal stuff) and its been hard focusing on anything but keeping it together at work... i haven't worked out since saturday morning and i fell back on a huge comfort food last night and made pizza for dinner (scale only showed a 1 pound gain, amazing!)... on the phone eric said, "oh no" and i thought, "yea, it wasn't healthy but its what i needed at the time"... and just thinking that made me realize that food isn't going to fix me - i need to fix me instead... i've lost my "uumph" somewhere i need to find it, and i need to find it fast or things are going to start spiraling out of control (i'm probably making this more horrendous than it really is, i'm just trying to put my thoughts on paper)...

what i really need is change, and i'm totally digging #5... :o)

change
1. The act, process, or result of altering or modifying.
2. The replacing of one thing for another; substitution.
3. A transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another.
4. Something different; variety.
5. A different or fresh set of clothing.

happy thursday...


Anne  – (11:26 AM)  

Sorry to hear you're in a funk. I just got out of one. The spark will come back and change #5 looks like a good way to do it :)

Crabby McSlacker  – (12:00 PM)  

Great post, and I agree, I think doing something New and Different is one of the best re-motivators out there.

Even something little like a different running route or trying an new piece of gym equipment... or hey, a brand new set of workout clothes!

Teresa  – (12:05 PM)  

I hope you feel better soon. You could be talking about me. It seems that being complacent seems to be going around. Wishing you continued success.

Dee  – (12:35 PM)  

I hear you. I think at some point we've all gotten tired trying. Maybe it's time to think long & hard about that 150 number? Maybe you're at the place your body needs to be...maybe not.

angelfish24  – (1:26 PM)  

I think it's hard to figure out what weight we should really be at. I haven't been close to my goal in years but I know about what weight I can attain and what really low weight that was impossible to maintain.
I hope you are feeling better soon. It's hard to break that connection with mood=food that I have too. The emotional eating for me (I'm still learning) is not what makes me happy, just the opposite.
Hope you have a good week and btw in your pics you look healthy and beautiful so give yourself a break!

ThickChick  – (2:07 PM)  

Hi Jodi,

I think everyone strugges with this! It takes SO long to lose weight that we're bound to have some serious highs and lows, as far as our emotions and motiviation is concerned. The important thing is this: you've picked up some healthy habits and it is important to continue them, whether you're trying to lose a few more pounds, or simply trying to keep the unwanted ones away.

With any diet plan, there is always such a 'honeymoon phase.' I use to quit and rejoin WW all the time so that I could re-live the honeymoon phase!

You'll get through this!

CaRoLyN  – (2:14 PM)  

What a great post. I know EXACTLY what you are going through Jodi! I have been struggling with the same lack of motivation. Basically I am at a point where I have lost 63 lbs and I'm just too happy with my body right now. I KNOW I want to lose another 14 lbs or so but that sense of urgency that used to keep me motivated at all time just left me this summer. It disappeared without a trace.

Now I've put on a few lbs and although I'm not as alarmed as I SHOULD be, I am trying to get back into the WW groove. I think I've found it. What really made me kick it up a notch is to think that I have only lost maybe 3 lbs since April. 3 lbs! I know I can do better than that! Shame on me for getting to comfortable. I dedicated myself to the 140s and although I have yet to come face to face with them, I know I'll get there some day with the help of WW, sooner rather than later.

Chris H  – (3:28 PM)  

ONly you can know for sure if you are happy where you are, or if you truly want to go for the magic number... until then, plod along, try not to get too despondent, you are afterall, fit and healthy, and this is GREAT eh? Have a great weekend.

kelly  – (3:47 PM)  

what a great post...it's exactly how i've been feeling. i've been doing better but part of me is still lacking the motivation. when i was busting my @$$ and working out 5x a week i stayed the same each week, so what gives? i thought maybe i'm at a weight my body wants to be at but maybe that is just an excuse. anyway, i totally agree :) we need to find motivation!!

Candace  – (4:11 PM)  

From what I understand, there is that point that you get to where you say, "I don't hate my body anymore." and we just don't work the plan like we used to. Yes, that is one motivation gone. My meeting leader seems to think I should set my goal at 160, and thinking back, I think this is the time when I sort of started to notice that I was gaining (recesses of the memory now). I'm not willing to settle for the top of the healthy, normal range. I don't expect to ever see the bottom of the range, but I do want more than the top. Anyway, I hope you find the motivation that can kick-start the loss again.
I find fall such a great time for new beginnings.

iportion  – (5:24 PM)  

Maybe not freaking out is a good thing we can binge after seeing a gain too. :-)
Do your best, maybe use all your flex points for the weekend and earn some aps too like do a morning jog and so forth. You like to eat on the weekends.

Ro  – (11:06 PM)  

Thanks Jodi...I read your blog daily..although I don't really comment much I am here with you..
Now what is Google reader?

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