not weight-related

i'm really not in the mood to blog today, eric and i are having problems again and even though i thought progress was being made, apparently i was wrong... go figure... we are now seeking counseling because its obvious we cannot communicate to each other properly, i have no idea what to do when i don't know what's wrong... i read him this 1-page letter that i wrote about how i was feeling about things like sex, marriage, living together, planning a family, looking for new jobs, etc... i have a BIG concern about turning 36 next year because i want children MORE THAN ANYTHING and for every year over 35, women can suffer serious problems while pregnant... hell it may take a while for us to even get pregnant so i think that is a valid subject that needs to be addressed... plus w/my blood dissorder, there's a higher chance of miscarriages and god knows what else... if we were 30, i wouldn't be as concerned but we're not and its time to start thinking about it and i don't think i was wrong in addressing that subject...

this letter just opened another can of worms and that's when we agreed that something needed to be done... we were both crying because we know what we have is special and are so lucky to have it but at the same time, we are sad that something is wrong... what i don't know but perhaps the counselor will tell us... i cried to my best friend on the phone today and said i have put my heart and soul into this relationship and just feel so lost and numb right now... a sick part of me doesn't want to put anymore effort into it until i know where its going, if that makes any sense, but i know that is not being mature... i need to be patient and understanding and hopeful that something good will come out of this... if not, i will deal with it then...

even though i was tired and not feeling well - i forced myself to go for a 30-minute walk outside and then treated myself to a starbucks pumpkin spice latte (first of the season) and shape magaine... i'm going for a drink w/a coworker after work so we can talk, i really need some friends right now and am not very good at reaching out... i think i really need to do that more often...

happy tuesday...


metamorphose  – (5:43 PM)  

Sorry about the relationship problems. I think the fact that you both agree on counseling says a lot -and really, what relationships couldn't use a little counseling now and then?

The biological clock can be a crappy thing. I hate to butt in with my two cents, but my own family has greatly benefited from adoption, and I just hope that can be an option if the whole biological way doesn't work out.

I'll be sending good thoughts your way, along with dreams of pumpkin spice lattes. Yum!

metamorphose  – (5:46 PM)  

Sorry if my first comment was going into sensitive territory. I get on my soapbox about adoption sometimes. I guess I just wanted to say that although pregnancy problems increase after 35, there are other ways of having children. I think you would be an excellent mother.

WeightWatchNWoman  – (6:16 PM)  

I am sorry to hear about the concerns you have about your relationship. I pray that things will work out.

I am glad that you BOTH agreed on counseling, that may be a great choice. I will be praying for you.

Cheer up, for me?

snackiepoo  – (9:30 PM)  

You totally have the right idea with the counselor idea. I am sorry that you had a rough day today, too.

Kim  – (10:01 PM)  

Oh Jodi,
I'm sorry to hear about the tough time that you and Eric are going through right now. I really hope that the counceling helps you find the answers that you both need.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers for sure. :)

I also wanted to thank you for the words of wisdom you sent to me. It's amazing how a little support, expecially from a stranger, can go such a long way. :) Thank you so very much.

Please don't lose hope. Things have a way of working out, even when we can't see the big picture. :)

~Les  – (12:13 AM)  

Jodi,

I hate when I'm so busy and not keeping up with my fellow bloggers. I just want you to know that I've been where you are. My DH and I dated for 5 years before getting married, and there just came a point when we had to really talk about where it was going, and if we were going to continue on. Luckily for us, it worked out. I will be thinking of you and hoping the for the best for you.

~Les

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